Word of the Year update

I'm a week late. I know. My committment was to post an update on my Word of the Year on the first Monday of each month. Last Monday I took the kids into San Francisco to have lunch with Don and wander around. The big kids and I bowled and we took On the Loose to a nice playground. Footloose tempted fate and was given a talking to by the "playground patrol" who threatened to ask her to leave for going down the slide. The playground sign said that the equipment was for ages 5-12. She explained to him that she was 12. He said he didn't believe her. So, I had to step in and inform him that, yes, she is only 12. Poor guy! She is 5'8" after all and walks around in a woman's body but 12 is still convenient for us when it comes to playgrounds and kids' meals. :-)

Back to my Word of the Year---Prayer.

I really didn't know what I was getting myself into by choosing this word. Did I think that God wasn't going to use it to reveal my weaknesses or my desperate need for spiritual growth? 

What have I learned so far as I've focussed on my word? I've learned that I don't know a thing about prayer. I've learned that I've spent the last 20 years as a Christian fumbling around and not being effective. I've learned that, although I do have a tremendous amount of faith, I have not been showing that in my prayer life.

The ladies' Bible study that I attend has been studying prayer for the past few months using Andrew Murray's With Christ in the School of Prayer. At times, instead of coming away feeling uplifted and encouraged, I have found myself feeling defeated and unsure. It almost seems as if the way I've viewed prayer for all these years is so inadequate. Now that we've finished the book, I feel like I need to go through and read it again to really deal with all that's been laid before me.

What I do know...I want to have a devoted life of prayer. I want my prayers to be pleasing to the One who intercedes for me. I want my prayers to change things. I want my prayers to change me.

What I don't know...How I'm going to get there from where I am right now. 

So, I feel like a new Christian again in spite of the fact that I've been a believer for 20 years this month! I feel like I'm relearning to walk when I should be at the point where I'm soaring. I'm starting small with offering faithful prayers with the confidence that He will answer because I am abiding in Him.

I'm thankful for being pruned even though it's uncomfortable. I'm like an overgrown tree that has ceased to produce fruit because it has become unhealthy. But God is faithful and He is pruning me back to the point where I can grow again. I do look foward to the continued lessons as He walks beside me while I take baby steps. 

When I grow up, I want to be a "prayer warrior." 

And there you have it...me being real!